


Silent Like the Grave

by danrdarrenc



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:26:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8987044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: Aaron and Robert each pay a visit to the graveyard the morning of their wedding.





	

Sunlight peeks through the window, hitting Aaron in the face. He blinks himself awake slowly, groaning at the early hour. Robert loved telling him how much of a grump he was in the morning, before he got coffee in him. Rubbing his eyes, Aaron turns over onto his other side to find the bed empty. Confused for a second, he remembers what day it is and smiles to himself. 

His wedding day. To Robert. 

Robert who isn’t in bed with him because Victoria had insisted they couldn’t be together the night before they got married. (”It’s bad luck, Rob!” were the words Robert said she had used when he told Aaron with an exasperated sigh that he was going to stay at Vic and Adam’s for the night.)

Suddenly more awake than he’d been moments before, Aaron hops out of bed, rushes through his shower, throws on sweatpants and a hoodie, and stuffs a piece of half-baked toast into his mouth before heading out of the Woolpack. There’s something he needs to do before marrying Robert.

He’s at the graveyard in less than a minute, his feet hitting an old and worn familiar path to Jackson’s grave. 

* * *

 

Sunlight hits Robert in the face and he blinks his eyes open. Taking in his surroundings, he’s confused until he realizes he’s in the spare bedroom at Vic and Adam’s. A grin spreads across his face when he remembers why.

He’s getting married today. To Aaron.

His body buzzes as he throws the covers off the bed and hops in the shower. Diane’s words to him last night (”I wish your dad could have been here. He’d be proud of the man you’ve become.”) ring in his head as he dresses in jeans and a sweater. He grabs his leather jacket and a piece of toast and quietly slips out of the house. There’s something he needs to do before marrying Aaron.

He takes a slow walk through the village on his way to the graveyard, gathering his thoughts in his head, trying to figure out what he’d have liked to say to his father if he’d been alive.

* * *

 

When he gets to Jackson’s grave, Aaron takes a deep breath before folding himself into the ground. He sits cross-legged in front of Jackson’s headstone for a few minutes, silently staring at the ground and picking the grass under his legs.

“Hiya,” he says eventually. “I’m gettin’ married today. Just thought you’d wanna know that. You always said I’d find someone else to love. God, that was so annoying. You nagging me about it. I guess you were right in the end,, though. Because I do. I love him so much.“ Aaron’s lips turn up in a small smile as they tend to do these days when he talks about Robert. “His name’s Robert, by the way,” Aaron offers. “Robert Sugden. Diane’s stepson. Vic and Andy’s brother.”

He’s quiet. Then, “I don’t think you’d like him,” Aaron adds as an afterthought. “Too quick to start a fight. But he’s a soft lad like you. Wouldn’t’a survived this past year without him.”

Aaron lapses again into silence, picking at the grass beneath his legs. Suddenly, he senses someone sitting down next to him. Without looking, he knows it’s Rob, even before he feels a soft pressure of a hand taking his. 

* * *

 

Although lost in thought, Robert’s feet carry him towards the graveyard at the edge of the village. His heart constricts slightly as he remembers the last time he was here, how close he had been then to being here for burying Aaron. 

He’s about to turn towards his father’s grave when he spots somebody sitting on the grass a few feet ahead of him. He doesn’t need to see his face to know it’s Aaron. Concerned - there’s only one person here he would be visiting - Robert makes his way over to his fiancé. 

“Wouldn’t’a survived this past year without him,” he hears as he comes up behind Aaron. He breathes in sharply - almost losing Aaron twice in the span of a year had not been the highlight of his life - and folds himself onto the ground next to Aaron. Without saying anything, Robert slides his hand into Aaron’s where it rests on top of his knee. 

* * *

 

"Tell me about him,” Rob says. 

Aaron turns his head and blinks at his almost husband; they’ve had multiple conversations about Jackson before, same as they’ve had conversations about Robert’s exes. 

“Tell me about his likes and dislikes,” Robert clarifies at Aaron’s confused look. “What made him laugh, cry, yell?” 

“Oh,” is Aaron’s first response. He’s silent, thinking; then, “You could never talk to him about buildings. He’d go on for hours about the structure of it, what was wrong, what was bad, why it was going to collapse in a year. He’d do your head in.” Aaron chuckles.

“He loved football and he was always up for a good adventure. His number one goal in life was to go skydiving. I arranged it for him, did I ever tell you that? He was so happy that day,” Aaron picks again at the grass with his free hand. Robert squeezes the fingers of the hand in his, encouraging him to keep going.

“He loved dancing,” Aaron says, pulling a face. Aaron sees out of the corner of his eyes Robert smiling dopily out of him because he knows how much Aaron hates dancing. “He hated lyin’ and people not bein’ true to who they are. It’s what we were arguin’ about before…It’s why he ran off and why I was ringin’ him.”

Aaron swallows thickly. 

“Our crash was six years almost to the day since his,” Aaron offers.

“I didn’t know that,” Robert says sincerely. “I’m sorry.”

Aaron shakes his head, waves off Robert’s sympathy. “It’s why I told you to leave,” Aaron says so quietly Robert almost doesn’t hear. “I couldn’t watch someone else I loved die because of me.”

Robert lets go of Aaron’s hand so he can wrap his arm around Aaron’s shoulders. Aaron immediately leans into him and drops his head onto Robert’s shoulder. They sit like that for almost a half an hour, neither saying anything. 

Breaking the quiet, Aaron asks, “What are you doing here?” as if he’s only just realized Robert hadn’t come looking for him.

* * *

 

Robert tenses at the question. “I, uh, I was coming to see my dad.”

He feels rather than sees Aaron lift his head up off his shoulder. Aaron slides his hand into Robert’s and pushes himself up off the ground. Aaron tugs on Robert’s hand. Robert looks up at his almost husband.

“Come on then, let’s go see your dad.”

Robert takes a deep breath and lets Aaron pull him up off the ground. Robert holds Aaron’s hand tightly as he leads them through the graveyard to Jack's grave. They stand for awhile in silence until Aaron asks, “Why were ya comin’ here?”

“I wanted -” Robert starts, stops, starts again. “I just needed to talk to him.”

“So talk,” Aaron says and gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

So Robert does. “I’m bisexual, Dad,” are the first words out of his mouth. They’re clear and certain and it feels like the coming out he never had. “I’m not - I won’t - deny it anymore. I’ve spent the last fifteen years of my life pretending to be something I’m not, trying to be the person you wanted me to be. I buried half of myself because I knew you disapproved. I hate you for that. I hate that you made me feel like I had to try so hard to earn your love. I shouldn’t have had to earn your love,” Robert says and it doesn’t surprise him how bitter his voice is. “You should have just loved me because I was your son. I hate that you favored Andy over me. I hate that I could never be the son you wanted.” 

The words spill out of his mouth, Robert saying all the things to Jack in death he wishes he could have said in life, would never have had the courage to say so long ago. 

“But I’m done now. Finally, after all this time, I can look in a mirror and not hate myself.” He feels Aaron squeeze his hand and move a little closer to him. “I’m marrying the man I love today. This brave, beautiful man who means more to me than anything else in my life ever has. I want to believe you’d be happy for me,” Robert finishes before lapsing into silence.

Then, “I just want you to be proud of me,” Robert says, his voice cracking. 

Aaron disentangles their fingers, turns into him, and wraps his arms around Rob’s waist, so he’s hugging Robert from the side. Robert leans into it, lets Aaron hold him, and rests his head against the top of Aaron’s (one of the many things he loves their height difference allows for). 

They stand like that for a long time, until Vic and Adam start ringing them, wanting to know where they are. Reluctantly, they detach themselves from each other, but lace their fingers together again at their sides. 

“Let’s do this, shall we?” Rob asks as they turn to head back into the village. 

Aaron grins up at him, a smile that could light up the night sky, and nods. 

Robert presses a soft kiss to Aaron’s cheek and they walk to the edge of the graveyard together. They separate with a chaste kiss, Aaron going to the Woolpack, Robert to Vic’s. 

They meet again two hours later at the altar.


End file.
